So the past couple of weeks have been a major trial in not only my life but in Anthony and my relationship as well. I don't think I expected this much drama or hardship when we decided to move forward in our relationship. But yet through all of this the Lord has been speaking to us in so many ways and I am blessed by the growth I have seen in both of us. The one scripture that the Lord has been drilling in my heart lately is Matthew 19:6 "Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." The two scriptures above this one is basically Jesus quoting Genesis 2:24, where the Lord speaks of joining a man and woman together as one, and that they shall leave their parents and cleave to one another.
Two things pop out to me when I read these scriptures. One, is the word cleave. This word actually means to glue together, to join one's self to or to stick to. And so we see here God's glue! The Lord is the one who has brought us together as well as every other couple that is out there. Whether there are issues or struggles in the relationship (remember keep it between you, your significant other, the Lord as well as those whom you are accountable to) we must not take what we struggle with and use it as a means or reason to separate. We must work through our issues. As for sexual sin, just STOP! I was once in that situation and I know from first hand experience that once you begin that type of relationship it is very hard to back up; and so separation sometimes is the wisest for you to do, so that there can be a time of repentance and restoration. Unfortunately if both parties aren't repentant there cannot be restoration.
Sorry, I got off topic; but basically if you are in a relationship right now the Lord wants to use this season to mature you and strengthen your faith in Him. Take this time to enjoy each other and to grow in the Lord together. But we must walk in LOVE and act with KINDNESS. If we are walking in Love then we are not going to do things that stumble the other person, rather, we are going to encourage them to grow in the Lord and to Love Him more. God's love is a SELF-LESS love and the world's love is a SELFISH love. And if we are acting in Kindness we are going to guard out speech and say those things that build each other up, not tear each other down. Anthony and I started our engaged couples class at Calvary Costa Mesa a few weeks ago and we are reading the book, "Two Shall become One," and one thing the has really stood out to me is Proverbs 14:1 "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." And we as woman can also tear down our homes with our words. So each of us can either specialize in constructing (building up) or in demolition (tearing down), the choice is up to you.
The other part of the scripture that has really stood out to me is the word LET in the statement, “Let no man split apart”. The word LET implies some sort of control we have in what we allow to effect our relationship. God has given us the power to allow things, either good or bad to influence our relationship. What do we allow in? Are we listening to secular music? Then we will notice we will start to conform our relationship into the world's image...romance, love, sex. Are we watching programs that condone infidelity, abuse, promiscuity? Then we will begin to compromise in those very areas in our own relationships. We will begin to communicate in the very way we see the women communicate with their spouses on TV and in Movies. What are we reading? The list goes on and on. And lastly, who are we spending time with? Are spending time with other couples who love the Lord and are of the same mind as we are? Amos 3:6 says, "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" We need to be with those who love the Lord and are liked minded (2 Timothy 2:22).
So after a rough week, Anthony and I have decided that we MUST make it a priority to not LET anything split us apart. BREAKING-UP is no longer an option! We need to walk in the promises of the Lord and if we believe that the Lord has brought us together for the purpose of marriage then we must walk in that! We must seek the Lord together and on our own, we must be in tune with the Lord's will for each of us. If at any time the Lord says this is no longer His will for us then we must be obedient and walk away with no REGRETS. This is why sexual purity is so important. If we have become one through sexual intercourse, this is the actual “uniting as one” the Lord is speaking about in Genesis and Matthew, it is actually through sexual intercourse not through our actual vows said on the alter (1 Corinthians 6:16). This "act" bonds us together and we become ONE! And believe me once you have participated in this act it is harder to let go when the Lord says it's time. Trust me it's still heart wrenching to see a man at church whom I was once intimate with and who will not be my husband one day, and still I have to love him because ultimately despite all that we went through he is still my brother in Christ and I am called to love him. And to have to go through the pain of knowing Anthony is friends with this other man and I can only wonder what goes through his mind when they speak. But again, the Lord is the one who renews all things and makes us NEW! So I leave you with these two scriptures:
Romans 12:1 (KJV) "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."
Ephesians 4:1 (NLT) "Therefore, I a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."
Blessings, and I will continue to pray for all of you,
It is never to late to repent and start over (1John 1:9).
In Christ,
Angelia
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