Love is...

I had a chance to spend some time with a close friend of mine last night & through our conversation my thoughts were stirred in thinking about how did I know I was in love with my husband? And I never really thought of it too much, I guess you could say that I just knew I loved him but then it hit me...Anthony is my best friend, he has stood by me through so much the past four years and I am amazed at the man that he has become. We were once told by his grandfather that before we got married we needed to know that we were each other's best friend because if not it wasn't going to work. He said that if we didn't "like" each other that we needed to just walk away because in the end after our kids have grown up and moved away it would be just us left and we had to realize that really that was all that mattered, we were friends. You see I can say that Anthony truly is my best friend, we can sit and talk for hours about nonsense and have a good time. He colors in coloring books with me when I am sick and we enjoy board games together, we go to disneyland and just enjoy each other's company...that's how I know that I am madly in love with my husband...the most intimate part of our relationship is our friendship the part that is completely unhidden from each other where we are not afraid to be ourselves and we are not worried about rejection, or any lingering questions about feelings, we are unveiled with each other and it is the most freeing feeling I have ever experienced! We have truly become ONE.

Praise the Lord because He is good and His word is so true! He says that a man and a woman would leave their parents and cleave together and they would no longer be two but one flesh and they would become one. AMEN!

So I love my husband because my love for him is patient, kind, not rude, not boastful, not easily irritated, not able to rejoice over bad but I rejoice with him in good, my love for him never fails and is true.

Wait on the Lord because He will provide you with the strength to patiently seek HIM until the perfect timining wheh He decides to bring you to the one He created you for. Only good can come to those who wait on the Lord.

God Bless

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Womanly Submission

"She is beautiful and therefore to be woo'd.
She is woman, therefore to be won."
-Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth

Anthony and i have been ready this book called "Doing Things Right in the Matters of the Heart," by John Ensor. I ironically bought this book almost exactly 2 years to the day. Recently I moved out on my own an took out all of my books from storage and from a bookshelf my grandmother had in her office room, so I have been able to see all of the books I own once again. So the other day when I was looking to read a book for the summer reading program at work I came across this book. Anthony remembered that I originally purchased this book for us to read together, but in the end we decided to go through a few other ones and forgot all about this one. So we started reading this book together. And I must say that this has been an amazing book for us to read together, in fact I do wish that we had read this book when started courting. One of the key concepts that the author speaks about is "womanly submission and manly sacrifice" and wow what a concept!

Today as women we are taught to take charge, be the leader if there is no leader in our life. We are told to see ourselves as equals to men, that there is really no lines between the genders (except for the obvious biological ones). Yet, in the Christian realm it is not that much different. Women, struggle to find their place even in the church and when given the opportunity may at times lead with emotion rather than with wisdom. However, I am learning as a 29year old woman that my God-given place in this world is in my home. I have been blessed with the ability to run my home in an orderly and godly fashion. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it is amazing all of the triumphs women have accomplished yet, we have taken off running the world and have forgotten our homes, husbands and children. As a engaged woman, I see that I have the innate desires to take care of those I love and to take care of my home. When I lived with my mom and grandparents, I hated and I mean HATED cleaning!!! That was always the last thing on my list. Yet, living on my own I have found that all of the lessons my mom may have either intentionally or unintentionally taught me on keeping a home have stuck! In the same way that those skills that have been set in us before our lives as women even began so has our place in the world of relationships.

The quote I mentioned at the beginning says it all. Women are meant to be woo'd we are meant to be won. I love it when I watch romantic movies and the guy chases after the woman and in the end they are together. If that was not the picture of how relationships work, why is that the blue print for every romantic movie we watch, every book on romance we read and every song we melt over? I am learning the hard way that I must in a sense submit to the woo'ing of my fiance, to submit to his leadership in our relationship. Not only in scripture are we commanded to submit to husbands specifically but we are also commanded to submit to one another. In love we must continually put others before ourselves, we must love without condition, we must sacrifice our own for the good of others. And this is not easy, I am learning that I am a selfish woman by nature and day by day I have to die to my flesh and surrender to the only one who can help me to love others fully and completely without conditions. JESUS CHRIST.

So, basically I just wanted to share what I am learning right now. And I pray that this blesses you as it does me.

Many Blessings,

Angelia

Looking Back

"...but I have focused on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." Philippians 3:13-14

So yesterday I looked back! I found myself remembering my past relationship and the mistakes I made. Yes, I am a new person and I have repented of all that I did to cause harm or pain on the other person and yet there is still a tiny feeling of regret that still lingers. I was told once by a close friend that my ex didn't need to hear anything from me or know that I had forgiven him. And you know maybe he was right, maybe he didn't need to know that. But I was thinking about that today and you know what? Maybe I needed to know I forgave him. Maybe I needed to evaluate what went wrong in order to not go back to that place. I am not regretting being in that relationship itself because I believe it was a learning experience but I do regret some of the decisions I made during the relationship. I see now that I have removed myself not only physically but emotionally from that relationship that it could have worked; only if there was true repentance on both sides. Repentance! There can not be restoration unless their is repentance on both sides! To this day it is not evident that my ex has repented from the sin that he took part in, and how do I know? Because he is the same man he was 2 and 1/2 years ago. How sad. And again some people might tell me to be quiet and move on but you know what? I have. I have moved on and I am blessed where I am today and the growth I have seen in my life from the Lord. I am not the same person that I was 2 1/2 years ago and I have also accepted the mistakes I have made and asked for forgiveness from not only him but from the Lord as well. So yes, I have moved on. And yes, I am happy with the lot that the Lord has dealt me. But I also look back to see and remember where the Lord delivered me from and the promises He has given me. He is faithful and He will always remain faithful even when I am not! And I remember when I look back it is no longer with a longing for my past but with a gratefulness of heart for God's gracious and merciful hand that I can see was upon me. I pray for my ex and I hope for the best for his life. I pray that one day he will be able to look back with out regret or resentment, but with expectations for the future as he is able to see God perfect provision over his own life.
So I pray that as I have learned to move on, that others who are holding on to past loves are able to do the same. The word of God says that, "He will not withold any good thing from those who walk uprightly." (Psalms 84:11) So if that person is no longer in your life, than they are not a good thing for you. It takes time dear friends to let go and allow the Lord to restore your heart. Believe me, I have been through so much with my past relationship and I am so blessed to see that the Lord has delivered me, restored me, refreshed me and is using me for His glory, all because I was obedient and let go! So, let go...don't try to hold on to what the Lord doesn't have for you. By referring to them continually or making it known that you are heart broken by them, you are staying in an imaginary relationship that God has told you to be away from. You are still allowing yourself to be tied to them, when it is God's will for you to be out of this relationship for this season. Because ultimately if it wasn't God's will you would be with them. Remember that God desires obedience over sacrifice (1Samuel 15:22). By holding on to them they become an idol and God will not allow that to continue for long, He does chasten those He loves. When you are hurting and missing them, pray!!!!! Pray for them, every aspect of their lives...pray until the Lord tells you to stop. I prayed every single day for my ex for 2 years, and it wasn't until recently I cut the prayers for him in half. My heart belongs to another now and as we are being knit together I cannot allow anything to come between us, including my own flesh.

So I pray that you take a step of faith and let go because what the Lord has for you is good.

Blessings,
Angelia

This Week

So the past couple of weeks have been a major trial in not only my life but in Anthony and my relationship as well. I don't think I expected this much drama or hardship when we decided to move forward in our relationship. But yet through all of this the Lord has been speaking to us in so many ways and I am blessed by the growth I have seen in both of us. The one scripture that the Lord has been drilling in my heart lately is Matthew 19:6 "Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." The two scriptures above this one is basically Jesus quoting Genesis 2:24, where the Lord speaks of joining a man and woman together as one, and that they shall leave their parents and cleave to one another.
Two things pop out to me when I read these scriptures. One, is the word cleave. This word actually means to glue together, to join one's self to or to stick to. And so we see here God's glue! The Lord is the one who has brought us together as well as every other couple that is out there. Whether there are issues or struggles in the relationship (remember keep it between you, your significant other, the Lord as well as those whom you are accountable to) we must not take what we struggle with and use it as a means or reason to separate. We must work through our issues. As for sexual sin, just STOP! I was once in that situation and I know from first hand experience that once you begin that type of relationship it is very hard to back up; and so separation sometimes is the wisest for you to do, so that there can be a time of repentance and restoration. Unfortunately if both parties aren't repentant there cannot be restoration.
Sorry, I got off topic; but basically if you are in a relationship right now the Lord wants to use this season to mature you and strengthen your faith in Him. Take this time to enjoy each other and to grow in the Lord together. But we must walk in LOVE and act with KINDNESS. If we are walking in Love then we are not going to do things that stumble the other person, rather, we are going to encourage them to grow in the Lord and to Love Him more. God's love is a SELF-LESS love and the world's love is a SELFISH love. And if we are acting in Kindness we are going to guard out speech and say those things that build each other up, not tear each other down. Anthony and I started our engaged couples class at Calvary Costa Mesa a few weeks ago and we are reading the book, "Two Shall become One," and one thing the has really stood out to me is Proverbs 14:1 "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." And we as woman can also tear down our homes with our words. So each of us can either specialize in constructing (building up) or in demolition (tearing down), the choice is up to you.

The other part of the scripture that has really stood out to me is the word LET in the statement, “Let no man split apart”. The word LET implies some sort of control we have in what we allow to effect our relationship. God has given us the power to allow things, either good or bad to influence our relationship. What do we allow in? Are we listening to secular music? Then we will notice we will start to conform our relationship into the world's image...romance, love, sex. Are we watching programs that condone infidelity, abuse, promiscuity? Then we will begin to compromise in those very areas in our own relationships. We will begin to communicate in the very way we see the women communicate with their spouses on TV and in Movies. What are we reading? The list goes on and on. And lastly, who are we spending time with? Are spending time with other couples who love the Lord and are of the same mind as we are? Amos 3:6 says, "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" We need to be with those who love the Lord and are liked minded (2 Timothy 2:22).
So after a rough week, Anthony and I have decided that we MUST make it a priority to not LET anything split us apart. BREAKING-UP is no longer an option! We need to walk in the promises of the Lord and if we believe that the Lord has brought us together for the purpose of marriage then we must walk in that! We must seek the Lord together and on our own, we must be in tune with the Lord's will for each of us. If at any time the Lord says this is no longer His will for us then we must be obedient and walk away with no REGRETS. This is why sexual purity is so important. If we have become one through sexual intercourse, this is the actual “uniting as one” the Lord is speaking about in Genesis and Matthew, it is actually through sexual intercourse not through our actual vows said on the alter (1 Corinthians 6:16). This "act" bonds us together and we become ONE! And believe me once you have participated in this act it is harder to let go when the Lord says it's time. Trust me it's still heart wrenching to see a man at church whom I was once intimate with and who will not be my husband one day, and still I have to love him because ultimately despite all that we went through he is still my brother in Christ and I am called to love him. And to have to go through the pain of knowing Anthony is friends with this other man and I can only wonder what goes through his mind when they speak. But again, the Lord is the one who renews all things and makes us NEW! So I leave you with these two scriptures:

Romans 12:1 (KJV) "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."

Ephesians 4:1 (NLT) "Therefore, I a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."

Blessings, and I will continue to pray for all of you,
It is never to late to repent and start over (1John 1:9).

In Christ,

Angelia